In the grieving process of losing my son Alex to an accidental drug overdose, I have started writing a blog as therapy. Not only has it helped me, but from comments received, it let's others know they are not alone and what they feel is sometimes exactly what they are SUPPOSE to feel. Bless you all who find yourselves in my position; I wish you weren't.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Who would have thought I would find love in so many different ways while I go through the biggest loss of love in my life. Love is like the air you breathe, you know its there, you can feel it when it rushes in, but you cant really see it. Even the wind blows the trees and you see them sway, but you don't actually see the wind itself. That's what love is like. I have found love to have several different meanings and it can be shown in ways unimaginable. It can be a small touch of someone wiping your tears when you feel you are drowning in sorrow. I can see it in the faces of unexpected visits from friends and family.  I can feel it in warm hugs or smell it in pretty flowers. It is shared over a cup of coffee at my favorite book store meetings. It is spoken in cards handwritten with personal notes and heard in phone calls on special days. My husbands expresses his love everyday when he leaves the house and goes to work to provide for this family. I taste it in the candy that I get for no special reason. My son attending college and calling me to "just say hello" is his way of saying I love you. And Audra and Mitch picking up a pizza and walking in with dinner is another way I can taste love!!  I feel love when my friend comes to MY home to cut my hair and when Kathy stops by just to polish my nails. My aunt and uncle who let me come by and talk about Alex and always have a glass of wine for me, that loves tastes GREAT. I knew all this love was out there but until recently I was the one giving it out. So to receive it so unconditionally and without anything expected back is unusual for me. How do you say THANK YOU for giving me such love when I needed it the most? I'm not sure, but all who have helped, please know you are loved just AS MUCH; but I think you already know.   

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