In the grieving process of losing my son Alex to an accidental drug overdose, I have started writing a blog as therapy. Not only has it helped me, but from comments received, it let's others know they are not alone and what they feel is sometimes exactly what they are SUPPOSE to feel. Bless you all who find yourselves in my position; I wish you weren't.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Alex Philip Killoran, born December 7th,1985, the second born son to Mark and Terry Killoran. Born on Saturday but due by cesarean section on Tuesday the 10th. Even then he was making decisions for himself. He was a great baby, sleeping through the night at 2 weeks old. His brother considered him a Christmas present. He said "I always wanted a brother, and I got one for Christmas," and that was that. We discovered both him and his brother had the same initials when Alex was a couple weeks old. I think I was telling Adam not to bother Alex because he was sleeping and I said, "Adam Patrick, Alex Philip is sleeping right now, so please, don't make so much noise." It's not like we did it on purpose. Even Alex was named for one whole day Marcus Philip but Mark changed his mind and just before the birth certificate was done, we named him Alex. He was an easy child to raise, although he loved to play by himself and we found when people intruded upon him during those times, he would get upset. But he also loved his older brother and followed him around, mimicking his every moves, and always trying to get our attention with funny antics. Even back when he was little he wanted to be the center of attention and loved an audience. He wasn't afraid of anything and was a dare devil. He would sit on the swing set and swing so high I was sure he would go right over the top. He liked to make the whole set jump from the ground from the force of the swing. He would giggle when I told him he was going to high. He loved adventures and would go bug hunting in the field behind our home. He found a snake one day and just picked it up and said "Hey mommy, can I keep this little guy?" We eventually agreed the field was a much nicer home then we could ever give him. That is probably the last time I said no to any creatures we had as pets. He had a turtle who he would put in the basket on his bike and ride around with him. One day the turtle jumped out and he ran it over accidentally and it cracked its shell. He was heart broken. A trip to the nature center and we found out he would not live, but they took the turtle for us so they could take care of him with the "other" turtles till it was Tank's time to go. He cried for days until he found out the neighbor didn't was his guinea pig anymore, and then we got Hamlet. He was an animal lover from the start. One day he found a baby bird by the sidewalk that had fallen from the tree. He insisted Mark climb the tree and return him to his nest, although we told him we weren't sure the momma would take him back. His wise old self said, "What momma wouldn't want their baby back?" and off Mark went climbing the tree to the nest. His heart was always in the right place.